Oct 07 2008

Conspiracy!

Published by saalon under Randomness

Via Oliver Willis, I learned today about a terrible conspiracy carried out against the poor producers of An American Carol.

What we know: in at least ten theaters nationwide, customers were sold tickets they were told were for An American Carol but turned out to be for other movies.

At least ten theaters nationwide?!

This one is big.  If Oliver Stone weren’t such a liberal screw-up, I bet he’d even make a movie about it.  That’s how big this sounds.

Reports coming soon as to whether this conspiracy is related to why David Zucker hasn’t been funny in 20 years.

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Oct 07 2008

Lipstick

Published by saalon under Voting

In my private conversations about Sarah Palin, I’ve described her as a church greeter who seems so happy to see you when you’re new to the church, but gives you the cold shoulder as soon as they decide you’re not going to join their congregation immediately.  If you’ve been at one church your whole life, this comparison may not mean much to you, but if you’ve ever gone somewhere once or twice you may have run across people like this.  I can pick them out of a crowd now, and I do my best to avoid their phony kindness.  I prefer people to dislike me up front.

Sarah Palin, the Vice Presidential candidate who has been unironically praised for both her faith and her meanness, has decided that Barack Obama’s supporters will not be joining the congregation.  So it’s time for this good, Christian lady to take the gloves off and show us what turning the other cheek is all about.

“Okay, so, Florida, you know that you’re going to have to hang on to your hats,” she said at a morning rally in Clearwater, “because from now until Election Day, it may get kind of rough.”

I’ve been waiting to see if race would emerge as more than a sub-textual theme in this election, and hoping that it would.  I know that there is still a strong undercurrent of racism in this country, because the kind of racial issues we’ve had do not go away without being confronted head on.  Also, I know a lot of racist people.  Hell, I’m related to some of them.

The point is, there are still people in this country who will not vote for someone purely because they are a different color than they are.  The question I’ve been asking myself is “How many?”  I don’t know the answer to that.  If Obama were revealed to have magic economic correction powers and proved to us he would win every war single handed while growing high-valued currency on trees, these people would still not vote for him.

These people mask a probably larger group of people, though, who are conflicted on issues of race.  Their parents had strong racial opinions, perhaps, or their own views on race have been challenged by real world experiences.  For them, it’s easiest to let race be a factor when it’s not challenged and they can attribute their behavior to something else.  In an election where race is merely subtext, these people might never question that vague discomfort with seeing a black man nearing the Oval Office.  But if confronted head on, many, I believe, would reexamine why they were voting and make a more honest decision, whatever that decision is.

This is why I am at once horrified and relieved that Sarah Palin is bringing out the crazy for all to see.

Worse, Palin’s routine attacks on the media have begun to spill into ugliness. In Clearwater, arriving reporters were greeted with shouts and taunts by the crowd of about 3,000. Palin then went on to blame Katie Couric’s questions for her “less-than-successful interview with kinda mainstream media.” At that, Palin supporters turned on reporters in the press area, waving thunder sticks and shouting abuse. Others hurled obscenities at a camera crew. One Palin supporter shouted a racial epithet at an African American sound man for a network and told him, “Sit down, boy.”

God’s Barracuda isn’t just turning up the heat on Obama’s character.  She’s giving people permission to let loose with their ugliest, nastiest feelings.  How else do you describe something like this happening at a rally, during her speech:

…Palin, speaking to a sea of “Palin Power” and “Sarahcuda” T-shirts, tried to link Obama to the 1960s Weather Underground. “One of his earliest supporters is a man named Bill Ayers,” she said. (”Boooo!” said the crowd.) “And, according to the New York Times, he was a domestic terrorist and part of a group that, quote, ‘launched a campaign of bombings that would target the Pentagon and our U.S. Capitol,’ ” she continued. (”Boooo!” the crowd repeated.)

“Kill him!” proposed one man in the audience.

If this behavior doesn’t disturb you, I don’t know what to say.  Let’s give Palin the benefit of the doubt and say she didn’t hear someone propose killing a fellow American in front of her.  Let’s assume she didn’t tell the crowd, “No!” because she didn’t know assassination had just been put on the table.  But this story has been out in the wild for at least a day, and I have yet to see a McCain or Palin spokesperson respond to it in any way.

What does that say to me?  It says they want people in their audience to get the hate boiling a little bit.  I doubt they want actual assassination, but getting a crowd full of people who are afraid of colored folk to fear the prospect of a black man in power certainly gets a block of people out to vote.  Why else would John McCain only raise his eyebrows in silent surprise when an audience member called Obama a terrorist.

So yes, I’m horrified, but as I said, I’m also relieved.  Palin and McCain did not create this nastiness.  They might share it, certainly, but for the most part they’re just stirring it up.  That guy who shouted “Kill him!” did not suddenly get that idea in the presence of Sarah Palin.  He felt that way when he walked in the door, and has probably said worse at family barbecues.

What Palin has done by hopping into bed with these people is - I hope - show the country that there is no kinship between them and the hatefully racist.  You may have grumbled about affirmative action or welfare or what you feel is a racial propensity for drug use, but you’ve never thought “I’d sure rather see a black politician killed before he gets into office.”  Palin’s behavior is appalling - not because of the nasty coming out of her mouth, but because of her non-reaction to murder talk at her rallies - but it’s best if the country looks this right in the face before election day.

Since Obama became a serious contender, I’ve hoped that America would finally be forced to see that racism is not gone and that it is not something to be shrugged off.  If Obama loses, especially after the racial undertones have been elevated to overtones, we may finally be forced to admit that we didn’t vote someone into office purely because we were afraid of someone’s brown skin and odd sounding name.  Maybe then, the next time someone suggests we kill a Senator and presidential candidate, someone next to him will hold him down until the Secret Service can bring him in for questioning.

As for the Christian Pit Bull, Sarah Palin, I wish I could say I was surprised that the candidate running on faith and family values seems the most eager to get nasty in this election.  The What Would Jesus Do? philosophy never survives the crucible of politics, but, in my experience, people like Palin don’t need much prompting to act more like Tomás de Torquemada than Jesus of Nazareth.

Here’s hoping the upcoming nastiness shows people the difference between Sarah Palin and Jesus is much more than lipstick.

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Oct 06 2008

True Patriotism

Published by saalon under Randomness

If you love your country, you won’t catch Syphilis.

Also, buy War Bonds.

Also, buy War Bonds.

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Oct 06 2008

Economic Fallacy #174

Published by saalon under Voting

The economy was really good under Bush, right?

Right?

And Democrats like Bill Clinton are really bad for the economy, right?

Oh, wait…

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Oct 02 2008

Glenn Beck Stupids Up A Reasonable Point

Published by saalon under Voting, Watching

This seems to be a popular genre for fear mongers these days.  Write an essay pretending to be a traveler for a future (or describing an encounter with one) that warns of a dire apocalyptic collapse of our world that we could have prevented if we weren’t so damn stupid.

It goes something like this.

Imagine that that future I have made up whole-cloth with minimal research is not fiction in the slightest.  See all the scary demons that live in my made-up future world?  Don’t you think you might have nightmares about them?  Your kids will be miserable or dead.  Socialist Islamofacists will urinate on your grave while inserting foreign objects into the orifices of your granddaughters.  Everyone will wear turbans but nothing else, because our soft, socialist economy will have left us with nothing save our newly adopted Islamist faith.  If only someone in your day had been smart enough to realize all of this!  If only he could have written some pseudo-fiction, we could have all been saved!

The good writers do a decent job of it.  Simmons’ time-travel terror tale was as well constructed as it was overblown.  He’s one of the best horror-fantasists I’ve ever read, and even when he’s delivering a dubious message he’s capable of doing it well.

Glenn Beck is no Dan Simmons.  (He’s not even an Orson Scott Card).  His core point is actually sounder than Simmons’ is: this Wall Street bailout is very likely to hurt us more than it will help.  Unfortunately, he has run out of ways to deliver this message and has fallen back on 60 year old Red Scare tactics and moronic time travel hyperbole to get his point across.  It’s the kind of article I’d expect to see linked on p1k3 as “Asshattery.”

It’s probably not worth breaking the thing down point by point - I mean, it’s signed “Worker 2744A” for God’s sake  - but I should at least give something other than a vague head shake at it.

It didn’t take long before so many of our tax dollars were going toward interest payments that we couldn’t fund even the most basic of government programs without massive tax increases on everyone. People now work most of the year just to pay Uncle Sam (or, as we now call him, “Comrade Sam”).

Hmm, yeah, ok, interest payments for our debt are going to become overwhelming.  Not a bad point, Glenn, not bad at–

–wait, Comrade Sam?! Sigh.

At least he avoided a Fear The Muslims rant, right?

You might want to spend a little less time worrying about carbon and a little more time worrying about Iran. We’re now in a new mini-Ice Age but, believe me, Iran isn’t using their nukes to warm any homes. (PS The International Atomic Energy Agency just revealed to you that Iran appears to be refitting their long-range missiles to carry nuclear payloads. Did you think they were joking or were you just too busy with lipsticks and pigs to notice?)

Oh.  Never mind.

Meanwhile, he uses one of my favorite devices of this genre:

Good call on not worrying about protecting our borders. That works out really well for you in 2019.

Note how the specific date-dropping makes it sound like the author has actual knowledge about the future, and that you should maybe have a few nightmares about what occurrence he’s referring to in 2019.

Here’s my question.  Did he pick the date out of a hat, or did he spend a couple of hours employing fake logic to go along with this fake time travel story?

In closing, remember this golden rule and you should be fine: Your Constitution will never fail you, but your leaders will. Be wary of anyone who tries to convince you that it’s the other way around.

You mean, like George W. Bush?  Who you compared favoribly to Batman in The Dark Knight, in particular to  how he breaks laws to catch evil terrorists?  You mean leaders like that, right?  Because it sounds like you’re saying that even though you don’t like Bush much,  you respect that he’s willing to go outside the bounds of our laws (or, if you will, our Constitution) to fight terrorists.

If you want a fictional view of the future, I advise sticking with actual science fiction that doesn’t cloak itself in essay form to scare you into agreeing.  Your average episode of The Twilight Zone is both scarier and more plausible than this kind of crap, and it didn’t need to dredge up antique Red Fear or remind us of the perils of Islamofacism to make its point.  Hell, WALL-E is smarter than this, and that guy’s last film was about talking fish.

As a side note, Beck might want to rewatch The Dark Knight for subtext.  Just saying.

2 responses so far

Oct 01 2008

They’re Not Gaffes

Published by saalon under Voting

Fred Thompson and the rest of Gov. Sarah Palin’s defenders are hoping you don’t know the definition of the word “gaffe,” so I’m going to take a moment to clear this up.  From the Wiktionary:

gaffe (plural gaffes)

1.  A foolish error, especially one made in public.

So, when Thompson and others defend Gov. Palin’s recent misadventures in journalism by comparing her performance with Senator Joe Biden’s propensity to stick his foot in his mouth, it’s a clever bit of political misdirection.  Biden calling Obama clean and articulate was a gaffe; a foolish statement he shouldn’t have made.  So was talking about Roosevelt being on television.  In fact, I’ll even grant that one thing we’re hitting Palin for is a gaffe: her statement that we should cross the border of Pakistan to attack terrorists.  It conflicted with McCain’s position, and thus was an error to say that aloud.

Rambling for something like a minute without answering a question about whether you support the bailout without actually discussing the bailout is not a gaffe.  She didn’t give an embarrassing answer.  She didn’t answer at all.  She didn’t even complete a single coherent thought.  She started by saying that the bailout helped people who were concerned about health care reform and ended by saying it was all about job creation.  It was certainly foolish, and was definitely in public, but it was not a mistake or an error.  She just didn’t have any idea what she was talking about.

The gaffe Thompson might want to consider was the very public, very foolish one that Senator John McCain made just before the Republican National Convention: Choosing Sarah Palin as a running mate in the first place.  Oops!

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Sep 30 2008

“Gotcha” Journalism

Published by saalon under Voting

I’m not stupid, it’s just that the media keeps catching me saying stupid things.

I’m glad Katie Couric doesn’t let them off the hook very easily in this interview, since this is yet more bullshit peddling by the McCain campaign about Palin’s readiness to do anything more complicated than run a state with less people in it than my county. Palin said something very specific to a voter in response to a question, and rather than address why she said it or what she meant by it, we get a line about how it’s “gotcha” journalism. If context was what was missing, why didn’t either of them provide any of that context?

Let’s try a different question. If your intention is to prove how fit to lead Gov. Palin is, why did Senator McCain need to sit in on her rehabilitation interview and spend the majority of the time talking? Is the hope now that if people just see her smiling and nodding on the screen while McCain talks that they’ll go “Oh, right, she’s much better this time,” and forget about that minute long increase-confidence-about-healthcare-reform-and-job-creation-economic-trade-umbrella-shore-up-the-economy-for-trade-and-heathcare ramble from her last interview?

Watch the above video. Couric asks Gov. Palin if she and Senator McCain are on the same page about whether you say out loud that you’re willing to do something like, say, kill Bin Laden in Pakistan if you find him there. Gov. Palin’s response is, basically, “Well, you know I talked to the president of Pakistan and we agree that we need to do everything to stop terrorists.” So, not an answer. Then Senator McCain jumps in to at least try and deflect the actual question with the “gotcha” journalism talking point.

Take Senator McCain out of this interview, and the answer you’re left with is another non-answer to a simple, specific question: “Did you meant what you said, or do you disagree with Senator McCain on this issue that he’s been blasting Senator Obama on for months?”

I do wish that, since Senator McCain was there, Couric had also asked, “How is what Senator Obama said about crossing into Pakistan worse than you singing ‘Bomb Iran?’” I’d like to hear the spin on that one, since we’re all here. If dad’s going to be a part of the job interview, you might as well grill him, too.

One response so far

Sep 29 2008

In Which I Share Common Ground With George Will

Published by saalon under Voting

George Will is pretty conservative.  I’m not a full blown pinko lefty, but I’ve spent most of my politically-interested life reading and disagreeing with Will’s old school conservative views.  He’s a Goldwater style conservative, whose primary enemy is inflated government.  My enemy are those who take advantage of the many to increase the wealth of the few, and to combat them on this scale, an active government is required.

Will is someone I believe is dead wrong on most issues, but I’ve usually respected his consistency on his own views.  Well, at least economically.  It’s OK to be wrong, just don’t be a liar or a hypocrite.  And I’m sure if he read anything I’ve written, he’d find little economic common ground with me as well.  That’s cool.

The last thing I expect is to see him agree with my views on a Republican presidential candidate.  I should have given him more credit.  Maybe I’m just used to conservative columnists still crowing about liberal tax-and-spend Democrats seeking big government while George W. Bush inflated the size of government more than any president since FDR.  If your complaint is the expenditure of tax dollars, corporate bailouts should bother you more than welfare, because it’s costing you more.  But “tax and spend” is more of a rallying cry than a statement of ideological opposition.

George Will, at least, sticks to his Goldwater guns and criticizes Senator John McCain for a whole host of things, including his temperament and - thankfully - his undisciplined economic liberalism.  Mr Will asks: “So, is not McCain’s party now conducting the most leftist administration in American history?”

Myself, I have no problem with spending tax dollars, within reason, for the public good.  I believe the purpose of the government is the protection of its people and its ideals, and that protection should not simply be military.  Its people should not die from hunger or from curable diseases, nor should they suffer because of unequal opportunity.  This is why I support universal health care, public schools and welfare programs, even when they are not administered properly.  Many of McCain’s supporters insinuate that Senator Obama’s economic plans will veer us toward Communism while raising no great cry as our government assumes control over our banking system.

I don’t know if George Will intends to continue his complains about McCain, or if we’ll see the traditional political shift pre-election where everyone shores up their ranks, but I want to thank him for what I imagine was an unhappy task when he wrote things like

Under the pressure of the financial crisis, one presidential candidate is behaving like a flustered rookie playing in a league too high. It is not Barack Obama.

and

For McCain, politics is always operatic, pitting people who agree with him against those who are “corrupt” or “betray the public’s trust,” two categories that seem to be exhaustive — there are no other people.

and finally

It is arguable that, because of his inexperience, Obama is not ready for the presidency. It is arguable that McCain, because of his boiling moralism and bottomless reservoir of certitudes, is not suited to the presidency. Unreadiness can be corrected, although perhaps at great cost, by experience. Can a dismaying temperament be fixed?

I know Mr. Will disagrees with Senator Obama on most things, and probably wants nothing to do with the economic policy Obama will support.  That’s why it’s so praiseworthy that he was willing to level the same criticism on Senator McCain.  I doubt Mr. Will wants to see President Obama, but as someone who has for so long decried big government, I can’t imagine he wants to see President McCain much more.

I expect we’ll be back to our respective teams in the coming months, but I want to thank Mr. Will for doing what any of us should do in his place.  Kudos.

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Sep 28 2008

Not A Joke

Published by saalon under Voting

Ladies and gentlemen, the Republican nominee for Vice President:

There’s not even an answer in there to agree or disagree with. There are barely any complete sentences. That’s what you do when you get asked a question that you don’t know the answer to and hope that if you keep talking you’ll somehow hit something close enough that they move on.

Seriously, if you were running a job interview and the candidate gave that answer to a question you asked, would you even continue the interview any further, save out of politeness? Worse, we’re not hiring a Software Engineer I here, and the issue is a little more important than “What are your thoughts on the Model-View-Controller pattern of web development.”

I agree with Cafferty’s comment here. If you’re not scared by the prospect of this nominee potentially becoming President, you should be.

One response so far

Sep 20 2008

Oscar Mike

Published by saalon under Randomness

I’m out for a week.  Heading down to Florida to hit Disney World and go on the Disney Cruise.  It is, I assure you, a much needed vacation.

I’m oscar mike in 60 mikes.  See you on the other side.

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