Be Crazier! Try To Find a Psychiatrist!

You’ve been to therapy. (You have, right? If not, go find a therapist before going on. Trust me. No, seriously, trust me. Off with you!) They’re helping, but things are looking a little chemical in your brain. Your therapist thinks you should talk to a psychiatrist. Great, you think, now I need another doctor.

But, wait. How the heck do you find a psychiatrist? Maybe you’re lucky and your therapist has a go-to M.D.. If not, if you’re like me, maybe they have a list of people nearby. It’s possible your friends have a recommendation; again, if you’re like me, they’re all getting their meds from their PCP (and I’m definitely a See The Right Specialist kind of guy). Now what? Now comes the random web searches and desperate phone calls. Good luck. This part sucks. Here are a few things I learned.

  1. You know those sales jobs? The ones where you have to cold call people? That’s basically what you’re doing, only you’re selling Crazy to overworked receptionists. Steel yourself.
  2. You don’t expect to be rejected by a doctor, do you? I mean, you’re crazy and you want to pay someone. They aren’t going to reject you, right? Well…they are. Usually because they don’t have any room.
  3. There are doctor review sites online. Most doctors had no reviews. The rest had only one. One review is basically worthless. You have a better chance of finding a good book reading Amazon reviews.
  4. Clinics don’t want anything to do with you unless you’re getting therapy and psychiatric help from them. It’s an insurance thing.
  5. The first clinic I called told me to screw off. Only less politely. The second at least explained why they couldn’t help me and sent me a list of private doctors.
  6. If you have a list of random, private doctors, come up with some arbitrary rules to weed people out. Only women, no people in office parks, names beginning in ‘R’. Make it easy on yourself to choose.
  7. If a psychiatrist can’t schedule you in less than a month, keep calling. You might be desperate enough to take it, but don’t. Find something sooner. I learned this the hard way.
  8. Be brave, be vigilant and be persistant. It took rejection. It took time. It took humiliation. In the end, I found a doctor to help me. You will, too.
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3 Responses to Be Crazier! Try To Find a Psychiatrist!

  1. Lauren says:

    Making appointments, especially doctor’s appointments, is just about my least favorite thing in the world. (To my own detriment, over and over again, as it turns out.) I hate the phone call, I hate talking to that person, I hate the planning to miss work, I hate everything about it. Even getting my hair cut or my car fixed just makes my skin crawl.

    Aside, under no circumstance should you tell the shrink “Trying to make an appointment with your receptionist made me want to kill myself.” Casual suicide references – of which I seem to make 40 a day – do not go over well.

  2. Eric says:

    I feel *exactly* the same way. Having to make appointments and figure out how to work around the job and whatever else…it’s all horrible. Adding in, “Maybe they won’t even let me make the appointment,” just about broke me. After the first clinic told me they *did* *not* *want* *to* *see me* if I wasn’t getting therapyt here, I came awfully close to quitting.

    I really wish I had made that joke, now. So much.

  3. aboleyn says:

    I love that you hear to go see a therapist or psychiatrist so freely, for instance advice from talk show hosts, advice columnists, well meaning friends and family, but actually trying to do just that is nearly impossible. My sister had a hell of a time trying to find one for her daughter. When my mother needed assistance forget it, depressed dying senior citizens aren’t important. If you aren’t “crazy” before attempting to make an appointment you certainly are by the time you wade in to this nightmare.

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